Heart on a Page

Where to start? I suppose with how I feel. I miss you my friend, I long for the days that have gone, of joyfulness, energy and fun. I don’t know anything about you now, you’re bound to have changed a lot, grown into someone wonderful whereas I have not.

I read what I wrote to you those few months ago and I cringe at myself. I’m sorry for subjecting you to words such as those, but I won’t apologise for the sentiment behind them, for in some ways that has not changed.

My feelings are one thing I will never be sorry for; my actions however, make me ashamed.

Even though I love you and haven’t stopped yet it is your friendship I miss the most. Whilst your many fine features will most likely still please my eye and heart it is our banter and laughter that I miss the most.

Even though you may think we weren’t that close I have to admit you were one of my closest friend. Make of that what you will.

Your company made me happy, your smile was infectious, I hardly smile at all now.

I miss you.

You were first and foremost my friend.

I happen to find any positive university results unrewarding as I can’t share them with you.

I feel lonely every time I hear something funny or I’ve done something that I’m proud of because I can’t tell you.

I often pray (which is ridiculous because I’m not hugely religious) that your life is going well and that you don’t think of me or miss me. It seems that this prayer has been answered, I’ll wager you never think of me.

I just want you (my friend) back.

When I daydream it is just memories of days from 2013-2015. In the reverie I’m so happy and content, yet when I awaken I am sad and blue.

The future destroyed my happiness but gave you release from the Hell that was me. Now I spend the present atoning for the past, and missing you with every beat of my heart.

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