You probably won’t even see this, and at least half of me hopes you don’t. But I couldn’t care about that, I just need to speak to you. Even if you can’t hear me.
Everything is on an even keel at last. Grades going up, life going steady. For all intents and purposes I should be happy. I’m finally and truly over you, over my obsession with my own past and trying to relive the last few years. So why am I sad? Honestly? Because as much as I no longer love you I do miss you. What I wouldn’t give for a chance to talk, and ask your advice. You were always my advisor before you became my first love. But I know that can’t happen, and I very much do know why.
I know I said sorry before, but let me say it again. I am sorry that I fell for you, I know I must’ve been an absolute pain to be around and yet you still stayed. Christ I miss your resilience and strength, your brain and no nonsense speech.
If on the off chance you do see this…and I know the chance of that is as fleeting as being struck by lightning thrice, but if you do please reach out to me. Because dammit man I need some guidance.
Ever your friend,
P.S. You’ll know if this is for you, I didn’t want to embarrass you by putting your initials or name on here.