How I’m really feeling right now

No one ever told me
That life would be this lonely,
That the rain outside
Is nothing compared to the tears
That fall from my eyes,
That the lightning that breaks
Through the darkness
Is nothing compared to the cracks
In my heart. No one ever told
Me that life would be so sad,
That I’d start to rot from within.
That I’d start to hate myself.

But then I suppose I was naive.
Too young to realise that my dream
Could only ever be that,
A dream.
I come from a broken family,
A rundown, poor town.
I found my Mother after she’d tried
To commit suicide, called an ambulance
And helped get her back on her feet again.
I lived off food from relatives
And food banks. I buried my baby
Brother after he’d been born dead.
I tried to escape but wound
Up more trapped than ever before,
Crawling back pitifully.

And now I’m alone again,
And it really hurts.
I just don’t see the point
If all this, it never can get
Better. I’m just not good enough.
Everything is so shit,
And I’m almost out of fucks
To give. I’m done.

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