Tag Archives: alone

How I’m really feeling right now

No one ever told me
That life would be this lonely,
That the rain outside
Is nothing compared to the tears
That fall from my eyes,
That the lightning that breaks
Through the darkness
Is nothing compared to the cracks
In my heart. No one ever told
Me that life would be so sad,
That I’d start to rot from within.
That I’d start to hate myself.

But then I suppose I was naive.
Too young to realise that my dream
Could only ever be that,
A dream.
I come from a broken family,
A rundown, poor town.
I found my Mother after she’d tried
To commit suicide, called an ambulance
And helped get her back on her feet again.
I lived off food from relatives
And food banks. I buried my baby
Brother after he’d been born dead.
I tried to escape but wound
Up more trapped than ever before,
Crawling back pitifully.

And now I’m alone again,
And it really hurts.
I just don’t see the point
If all this, it never can get
Better. I’m just not good enough.
Everything is so shit,
And I’m almost out of fucks
To give. I’m done.


Over 7 billion people alive,
Yet only one me.
On voice, one heart, one sorrow.
Nobody listens, nobody cares,
So why do I keep bothering?
Because I dare to hope.
Maybe someone does want to help,
And maybe they’re out there right now.
Well, if you are I could use
A hand right about now.
My hope is wearing thin
And dreams are fading away,
I cry more and more each day.

Living Eyes

Look into my eyes
And you’ll see how I
Became me. Every tear
From pain, suffering and sorrow.
Every dream and hope
Of having a better tomorrow.
All the love and loss,
Living and heartache.
The sunrises and sunsets
That furnish my soul,
But no one wants to see
The loathing- that black burning
Hatred, directed at no on
And nothing apart from myself.
Maybe that’s why no one looks
Into my eyes, maybe that’s why
No one sees me.

Never Me

And so another new family
Is made, a new little trio
To tread the way to happiness.
Younger than me, more beautiful
And in love. What a lucky woman.

What did I do so wrong, to end
Up alone and unloved? No baby
In my arms, no love in my heart.
Why must I be the one to suffer
With a womb that’s broken and unable
To hold life? Why will no one love me?

To see friends, nay, family creating
New life, new love. But it’s never me.
It’s never me.


I’ve never been happier
Yet I’ve never been so alone.
I’ve never felt stronger
Yet never have my walls been so weak.

I smile so much more now
But I cry myself to sleep.
I do more, think more and create more
But no one is interested.

Always an introvert,
Never one for a party.
Always there to depend upon,
Never dependant, not anymore at least.

Prepared to give out hugs,
Do I ever get one back?

Is this what being deprived
Of affection feels like?
I think so.


We’re all told from quite
A young age that we are mere
Twigs on a tree that’s forever
Growing, that there are branches,
A huge trunk and roots of history
Behind us, good things, bad things
That we are just unaware of.
Every little shoot that buds into
A leaf year after year,
It’s out of our control.
Twigs can easily snap, then plummet
To the ground. Maybe it’ll be
A dogs toy, or possibly a stick
For a child to poke the dirt with.

We are supposedly from this big
Tree, that has far more life
And meaning than any of us individually.
So why do I feel like a tiny twig
That’s fallen?