How can I say hello
When so much has changed?
How can I still smile
When I’m not that girl anymore?
Time has left lines
Along my face, eyes that were full
If hope are dimmed
And lost beneath weariness.
A faltering twitch of lips
Is all that remains of happiness.
I’d give anything to laugh riotously
Again, anything to love
Freely and without fear.
I wish that girl,
The one I used to be,
But she’s not and I am alone.
I can’t even pick up the phone
To say hello now.
Where has she gone?
Where have I gone?
I know I have to jump
From this ledge,
That it’s time to fly.
But I’m scared
And I don’t know why,
I have wings that will
Help me glide,
Yet I think I’ll fall. Why?
It continues to pass,
Oh too fast!
I swear yesterday
I was just sixteen,
Praying for a kiss
From the man I loved.
Now I’m nearly twenty,
Soon to be a teen no more.
Lonely and alone,
Longing for the love
Of a man who I’ve never
Even met, dreaming of a future
That can never be.
Am I crazy or is this just
How it is meant to be?
Maybe one day I’ll meet him
And it will all be worth it,
But somehow I doubt it.
I always desire the impossible,
That’s something that time
Has never changed.
If I had a time machine
I’d wind back the clock
Ten years or so,
And give little me some hope.
For dark days clouded
What should have been sunny
Years, storms tore apart
What should have been peaceful
Landscapes, so her little heart
Hardened until she loved no one
Anymore, not even herself, myself.
I wish I could turn back the clock,
Stop the rot of pain that stops
Me from feeling, if only
I had a time machine.
I’ve been so happy
But now I feel sad,
I feel alive
And I am glad,
Yet I’m dead inside
So many smiles,
Now all tears.
So much tenderness,
Now all fears.
It’s like the branch
Has snapped, the creaking
Old arm has broken
In two, thunder and flames
Crashed overheard. It’s gone,
Everything has fallen through
And now there’s nothing to do,
I am now different than you.
Change has cut away what once
Was whole, leaving us not as one,
But as two.
It is time to clean,
And time to change.
I have sprung forwards
As if from a catapult,
Watch out for I don’t yet
Know my destination,
All I can say is:
The journey will be rough
And full of little falls,
But nothing will be more worth
It than when you see that
You were a fool, because she’s
A-coming, a spring born storm.
Once upon a time I dreamed of being
A wife, nothing more, just a woman
Who was married to a man, a hero
Who would honour, protect and love me.
Ha ha. Not anymore. I am not deluded
By such visions now, I am free.
I am a woman.
Once I wanted a huge white wedding,
Three children with curly black hair
And a husband who was always there.
The world would be warm
And not full of war.
In another life perhaps,
But definitely not now.
It’s funny how sometimes everything
Changes, the hills are worn away
And the fields flooded with homes,
The sunset no longer looks the same.
It’s strange how dreams turn to dust
And friends move away, how loneliness
Takes over the former joy. How hopes
And aspirations melt away, slipping
From the mind and heart, and out into
Yes, it’s funny how horizons change.
Steps have been taken, a few leaps have
Been made, a change has occurred that will
Surely lead the way for the future. A new
Path is being trodden, a special chance may
Await, but how shall we know unless we wait?
It is beginning to become clear, the dust is
Swirling less fierce, perhaps soon the dust
Will ignite clarity will ensue.
Things will do, they are better than before,
Slowly shuffling towards truth and honesty-
A policy which is thoroughly implored!-
Who knows, maybe content will morph into brilliance,
Or possibly lapse into former sadness, let’s hope
The change is here to stay, I never want to
Let content go, as to whether things will
Get better, only the future knows.