Tag Archives: sad

Sad

You took my happy days
And made them sad.
You took my smiles
And turned them into tears.
Now mascara is cascading
Down my face, long black
Streaks of bitterness and sadness.
All because of you.
I didn’t ask for life,
I didn’t ask for this
Or for you. Yet this is my lot,
My cross to carry. And now
I’m beginning to buckle
Under the weight of it,
One tear at a time.

How I’m really feeling right now

No one ever told me
That life would be this lonely,
That the rain outside
Is nothing compared to the tears
That fall from my eyes,
That the lightning that breaks
Through the darkness
Is nothing compared to the cracks
In my heart. No one ever told
Me that life would be so sad,
That I’d start to rot from within.
That I’d start to hate myself.

But then I suppose I was naive.
Too young to realise that my dream
Could only ever be that,
A dream.
I come from a broken family,
A rundown, poor town.
I found my Mother after she’d tried
To commit suicide, called an ambulance
And helped get her back on her feet again.
I lived off food from relatives
And food banks. I buried my baby
Brother after he’d been born dead.
I tried to escape but wound
Up more trapped than ever before,
Crawling back pitifully.

And now I’m alone again,
And it really hurts.
I just don’t see the point
If all this, it never can get
Better. I’m just not good enough.
Everything is so shit,
And I’m almost out of fucks
To give. I’m done.

Sad

Over 7 billion people alive,
Yet only one me.
On voice, one heart, one sorrow.
Nobody listens, nobody cares,
So why do I keep bothering?
Because I dare to hope.
Maybe someone does want to help,
And maybe they’re out there right now.
Well, if you are I could use
A hand right about now.
My hope is wearing thin
And dreams are fading away,
I cry more and more each day.

Nonsense

Happiness is a talent,
Or so I’ve been told.
But it’s not a gift
That I have, I wear
Sadness like a second skin,
Always there and always clinging.
Fearful of joy
Due to its short shelf life,
Scared of anything other
Than sorrow, which I adore
In its simplicity.
Maybe I’m not meant to grin
And beam, perhaps I’m made
To grimace and give just tiny smiles,
And I think I’m ok with that.
Just let me ponder it awhile.

Younger

Perhaps you never heard
My cries, every night after
You and my mother split up.
They’d slip down my face
And litter my pillow,
A watery embrace was what sleep
Had become. I was only eleven,
A child in every way,
And yet I’d suffered more
In one day than I had
In a decade.

It made me grow,
Faster than I should have.
It made me wiser than my years,
For though I am now nearly twenty
I’ve cried enough tears and felt
Enough anguish to be nearly sixty.
How I wish I were younger
And more carefree. Oh how I wish
I had had the chance to find out
What it meant to be me.

Living Eyes

Look into my eyes
And you’ll see how I
Became me. Every tear
From pain, suffering and sorrow.
Every dream and hope
Of having a better tomorrow.
All the love and loss,
Living and heartache.
The sunrises and sunsets
That furnish my soul,
But no one wants to see
The loathing- that black burning
Hatred, directed at no on
And nothing apart from myself.
Maybe that’s why no one looks
Into my eyes, maybe that’s why
No one sees me.

Snowbell

Soft snowy fur,
Brilliant green eyes
And a booming purr.
Never has one cat
Meant more than family,
She’s the past…my childhood,
Happiness, sunshine, innocence
All in a white fluffy bundle.
But she’s dying.
Slowly and surely with each passing
Tick tock of the clock,
As every dawn and dusk herald
The closing of her lifetime.
The end of joy, the loss of memories,
My very first cat: Snowbell.

(She’s not dead yet but she’s 15, a bit senile and frankly has seen better days. Amongst other things her balance is off and she’s got a weepy eye. But everyone can see that the clock is ticking. -she’s currently curled up on my lap purring away quite happily.)