Blog Posts

🍁The Criminal Absurdity of 21st Century Media

News. It’s everywhere. It governs our entire lives. It tells us what we need to know. But what can you do when news on all media platforms is spewing utter rubbish? How can we expect to become a fair, just, equal and tolerant society when one of the biggest plinths of the world is so fundamentally damaged?

I would like to take a few moments of your time to raise awareness of the ways in which our British media is now broken. Considering we were once fighters for free speech it’s shocking that it has come to this, that propaganda and gossip have taken over real journalism and reporting.

Today television and stage actress Helen George (perhaps most famous for playing Trixie Franklin’s in BBC One’s Call The Midwife) has alerted her followers on Twitter that the media site The Scotsman has deliberately misquoted her. The article suggests that Ms. George blames female members of the public for the treatment of Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex by the British Press. However Ms. George was actually trying to raise awareness of the way that the media deliberately sets women against one another. Therefore, The Scotsman has proven the actresses point perfectly. This is shocking. This demonstrates how even in 2019 the media sees it as being acceptable to ‘play people off’ against each other. What set of values or morals does this show? Why can’t women be seen to support one another? Could it possibly be because the media industry is still so male dominated? All we know for certain, is that it needs to be corrected.

Another way that the media/press is damaged is in the way that it so eagerly scaremongers. We’ve all seen the scaremongering over Brexit- the claims that Baked Beans might not be able to be imported, that Marmite might’ve had its day of being loved by some in the UK. The media makes these claims based solely on conjecture, NOT hard fact. This scaremongering has lasting consequences in some places, there were runs on the stocks of certain tinned food items and fuel. It’s almost as if the Press doesn’t realise that their scaremongering causes shortfalls of stock, thus creating an actual problem.

Thirdly, the British Press has an absolutely distressing view of Mental Health. The past few years have seen a massive change in the way that Mental Health is seen and discussed in the UK. Huge strides have been made in creating a society that is more tolerant and more helpful for those who need assistance. Yet the media seems Hellbent on rebuilding the stigma surrounding Mental Health issues. The Daily Mail in particular takes a very diminutive stance when discussing Mental Health issues. They use derogatory language, for example in an article today they try to blame anxious people for ruining the fun of Christmas by way of not partaking in Secret Santa. It’s ridiculous the way that the media uses mental health issues as a scapegoat, but they do so in order to prevent tolerance from building within their readers. Why do they insist on writing such unkind propaganda surrounding Mental Health sufferers?

Once again I’ve discovered another problem with media. They deliberately inspire generational divide. For a start, it’s the media who labelled the generations, the Millennials, Snowflakes and Gen X, Boomers etc all owe their titles to the media, though of course the names have now become mainstream. Yet it very neatly severs the population into groups, which the media then uses as pawns in their games of power. The media have taken vast swatches of the UK population and assigned them characteristics based on the majority of opinions of that time. Those labelled Millennials for example, are not much liked by the media. Apparently their diet of avocado and different types of coffee is why they can’t afford to buy houses…when it’s a societal issue blighting the world, not specifically the blame of the young generation. Why do they do this, you may wonder? I suggest it may be because the owners of the tabloids and media are to blame but they don’t want to take responsibility. The male, pale and stale establishments are seeking a scapegoat, and their motto has always been: if in doubt blame the youth.

Finally I offer you a horrific conclusion to the problems of our media. There’s a massive gender bias. The media insists on still pedalling the same idealistic patriarchal view it has held since newspapers started the media movement in the late 1700s. While strides have been made towards making the media more gender equal it still favours those who identify as male. Most journalists are men, there are sections on media sites that are designated solely for women, and these spaces are filled with things like make-up tips, gossip and texts of a lower lexicon. Why is that? Where are the articles about women’s rights and how much further we have to go? About how women’s lives are still heavily regulated and taxed in ways that men’s are not?

So you see, the media is broken. How can we trust anything that any of them say? Every single newspaper, online pages, radio stations etc, has an agenda. Things are twisted and words all mulched up to a point where you no longer know what’s right. What’s to be done? All that we can agree on is that it’s utterly absurd how the media treats the topics of discussion of the day. It is, in my opinion, criminal.

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A 21st Century Feminist

As a woman you really do have to fight to be heard and not just dismissed as “emotional” or “sensitive”. Somehow to be those things makes your problems and thoughts less important, or at least that’s how society has been towards me. Has it been the same for you? Because that’s not how it should be. Then there are times where you’re made to feel guilty for taking up space. I mean this in a physical real-world sense as well as in terms of an online presence.

When I’m called “pushy” or “demanding” I’m supposed to just jump back into my little box of femininity and beg for forgiveness or be silent. When I’m labelled a “feminist” it’s always by men who shudder with revulsion at the word, as if there is nothing worse I could be. I really don’t understand why those people want to refuse to allow other members of their species equality?

My own brother is very much anti-Feminist, not in any violent or confrontational way. He just doesn’t see the problems women face as problems, he sees the progress the movement of equality makes and he doesn’t like it because he feels it eats into his personal freedom. This is probably just the patriarchal brainwashing we all underwent at school in the early 2000s, but it’s so ingrained in him he can’t even accept there are still inequalities in the way women are treated throughout all areas of society.

I had to spend years at school under “the protection” of my brothers reputation. And do you know what? I really do thank him for his kindness at trying to look out for me, but it just made my school life utterly miserable. It was a relief when he finally left and I could start being just me and not the person who should be revered because her brother was such a well-known, well-feared person. Once he had finally left the school I had two beautiful years where I could finally flourish and be the feminist, straight talking, big-thinker that I am. I could be my own strength and support, which is something I hadn’t been allowed to be until that point, I had been forced to remain compliant and obedient. Of course his desire to protect his younger sibling was admirable and praised, it was actively encouraged because he was a boy and I a girl. But nobody had had the foresight to realise or even ask me if that’s what I wanted, because I was a girl I was expected to be grateful and just fall into line with my brothers reputation and protection.

Is that really what it means to be a younger sister in the 21st Century? Is that how women have to be? Forever cast under the “protection” of their older male relatives/friends, because they’re deemed incapable of defending themselves or worse, because even if they did defend themselves they’re just women?

So you see, I don’t know if you agree (please do comment, I do so love thought provoking discussion) but this isn’t right. Why should the spaces that women create for themselves be regulated and controlled by men? Why should they feel apologetic for creating a space for themselves where they can unleash the thoughts and feelings that may plague them? Why must it always come back to asking male permission? As a movement of equality can it ever truly be equal when it has been so unequal in the past?

In order to pass a law for example, it has to be approved by Parliament which is still mostly men. Female MPs represent only 33% of the House, when in reality 51% of the UK population (according to the 2011 Consensus) is female. This means that over half the population is represented by only one third of the Legislative body in the UK. Is that equal, is that fair? Can we truly say that women’s concerns and thoughts/feelings are being equally and fairly represented? If there are any petitions to create, change or abolish laws in the UK it goes to Parliament and is debated, are women really being considered during these debates? How can they be if only 33% of the people who are eligible to join the debate are female?

You see, so much of our society is still fundamentally flawed. Our steps and strides we have made in the name of Feminism in order to try and get equality for women, So that their lives may be as free and fulfilling as men’s, have not been in vain. There has been significant progress, but it’s not enough yet. And saying that isn’t greedy, nor should it be read as a desire to subjugate men to a Matriarchal rule, because it isn’t that. But things cannot be truly equal until men and women are treated exactly the same. That means that they are listened to respectfully, regardless of emotional state. That means they are paid the same amounts for doing the same job in the same time. That means that women are respected regardless of their shape, size, the colour of their skin, their language, their clothing choices. It’s only after all of that has been remedied by the teaching of tolerance, acceptance and understanding that society will give a fair platform for women to build their lives.

I’m proud to be a woman. I look back through history and I see a few strong female leaders who have defied the Patriarchy that has dominated our world since the start of time. I respect those women and advocate a curriculum that emphasises the strengths and struggles those women faced, it is important that children learn of their fore-bearers in a truthful way. I think of the movement of Sufferage that gave women the vote, it was a stride towards equality and we march with their colours and their spirit today. And then I think of the women that history has chosen to forget, the ones who were trapped into marriage, into becoming mothers. I think of their tears and sorrow as they had to lead a life that a man had chosen for them and I’m spurred on. No more.

The world can be a fair place, but men need to want it to be. All our freedoms are decided by men because we’re still unshackling the chains of Patriarchy, until that is done it can’t be fair. We need to all want change and equality, we need to instil it into future generations. I want future generations to walk forwards with their lives knowing that a woman can do anything she wants as a career, or a lifestyle choice, just as a man can do anything he wants for a career or lifestyle. I want their choices to be equal, and as equally acceptable and pleasing.

I’m a woman, I’m a Feminist, I want gender equality for every human on planet Earth. Do you?

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🍁 Caring for yourself is not a “hippie” thing, it’s a survival thing

Sometimes it’s impossible to live a life full of joy and satisfaction. That’s just a fact. But one thing you always have to do is find a way to survive, even on the darkest days when you’re besieged by grief or fear or terror you do your best to survive. But survival isn’t enough, you deserve more than just to shut down and survive- you deserve to live a life. I’m not preaching at you, I just have to say that you are worth better. Love yourself, you are precious. Every atom of your existence is unique and they have come together to make you. There will never be another you, so take the very best care of yourself. You are precious to the universe, you are special.

Taking care of yourself comes in many forms. There’s the obvious physical aspect, but I won’t linger on that when we are all besieged with images of “normality and perfection” that we should all adhere to (which I think is RUBBISH- I’ll be dissecting this elsewhere). But most people forget about the mental and emotional aspects of caring for yourself.

Like a tune that gets stuck in your head, little random acts of kindness make all the difference. These acts could be something you’ve done for yourself, or something that others do. Never underestimate the power of a kind word or a thoughtful moment of reflection; this is what I mean by caring for yourself.

You made it out the house today? Great! Soak up the fresh air, the feel of the solid ground beneath your feet, the sounds of life buzzing by. Yes, it can be nerve wracking, all those people and lives milling around but focus on your life and the moment, because these small times are a segment of peace that can make a day more bearable.

You managed a smile, a laugh or even a cry, perhaps you even were able to talk to someone without feeling guilty? That’s the ticket! Small steps. Even a little cry can help, oh you may feel low but the physical release of frustration or sadness or fear, of whatever emotion that’s trapping you, really will help. Just remember that to allow yourself to feel can be scary, but that’s ok. Small steps, even if you stumble back for a while: progress is progress, no matter the form it takes, no matter how long it takes.

You found you couldn’t make it out of bed today? Well you know what? I’m proud of you. Don’t let those thoughts cloud your mind or try to twist your mind against yourself, it will pass. Everyone needs a break. Take the time you need to gather your strength, no need to rush, go at your own pace. And remember to rest, facing these thoughts are exhausting and draining, so you need to take care of yourself.

Those things there, those little moments of clarity are self care. They are acts of kindness to yourself, every move you make is a choice between getting on or giving in. Even by reading this you are getting on and not giving in. So very well done you!

Random acts of kindness from others really can sweep you off your feet. Literally, the emotional response that can be triggered by unexpected kindness can carry your sadness or emptiness away like a tidal wave. A card, a letter, a hug, a message. Just little things, it doesn’t have to be some major gesture, just a thoughtful action. And you know what? It’s something everyone can do, even if you’re feeling low you can do one of these things for yourself or indeed, for anyone else (it might make you feel better too).

I’ll include now a little list of actions that might make you feel better, or indeed things you can give/do to help others feel better too:

🍁Send a message asking if they’re ok, without being prompted.

🍁Write a letter, it can be the most mundane of contents but the act of writing and receiving handwritten words helps.

🍁Buy some flowers, they’re pretty to look at, fragrant and cheerful. Flowers are a reminder that life can be beautiful.

🍁Take a short five minute walk, fresh air helps.

🍁Put on your favourite song and dance/sing as if no one is watching, even if it’s a cheesy song that you have to pretend not to like in public.

🍁Look back through old photos and remember how it felt, indulge in a moment of golden reflection.

🍁Smile at strangers, smile at yourself in the mirror too.

🍁Leave social media, even if just for a few hours, life isn’t a competition so take a break from comparing yours to others.

Don’t allow yourself to be made to feel guilty or silly about taking time to care for yourself. You’re human, you’re alive, you deserve to be as whole and happy as you can possibly be. Everyone needs a break, everyone needs to take care of themselves. Life is precious, you are precious and you deserve to not only survive, but to thrive.