Tag Archives: Life


Happiness is a talent,
Or so I’ve been told.
But it’s not a gift
That I have, I wear
Sadness like a second skin,
Always there and always clinging.
Fearful of joy
Due to its short shelf life,
Scared of anything other
Than sorrow, which I adore
In its simplicity.
Maybe I’m not meant to grin
And beam, perhaps I’m made
To grimace and give just tiny smiles,
And I think I’m ok with that.
Just let me ponder it awhile.


Perhaps you never heard
My cries, every night after
You and my mother split up.
They’d slip down my face
And litter my pillow,
A watery embrace was what sleep
Had become. I was only eleven,
A child in every way,
And yet I’d suffered more
In one day than I had
In a decade.

It made me grow,
Faster than I should have.
It made me wiser than my years,
For though I am now nearly twenty
I’ve cried enough tears and felt
Enough anguish to be nearly sixty.
How I wish I were younger
And more carefree. Oh how I wish
I had had the chance to find out
What it meant to be me.


A chestnut mane,
Glossy and full.
Eyes that shine bright
With a love that’s bountiful.
A smile that’s got crooked
Teeth, perfect in its imperfections.
Eye brows that are wayward
And unruly, just like her
Astonishing mind.
She may not be your cup of tea,
But seeing as I am me
I don’t care how you take your tea.
This is me.

Lost Letter

Dear You,

You probably won’t even see this, and at least half of me hopes you don’t. But I couldn’t care about that, I just need to speak to you. Even if you can’t hear me.

Everything is on an even keel at last. Grades going up, life going steady. For all intents and purposes I should be happy. I’m finally and truly over you, over my obsession with my own past and trying to relive the last few years. So why am I sad? Honestly? Because as much as I no longer love you I do miss you. What I wouldn’t give for a chance to talk, and ask your advice. You were always my advisor before you became my first love. But I know that can’t happen, and I very much do know why.

I know I said sorry before, but let me say it again. I am sorry that I fell for you, I know I must’ve been an absolute pain to be around and yet you still stayed. Christ I miss your resilience and strength, your brain and no nonsense speech.

If on the off chance you do see this…and I know the chance of that is as fleeting as being struck by lightning thrice, but if you do please reach out to me. Because dammit man I need some guidance.

Ever your friend,

P.S. You’ll know if this is for you, I didn’t want to embarrass you by putting your initials or name on here.